[For Petey] love while you still can, backdated to the day after Wyatt

[st_alksthroughwalls]

After spending time with Wyatt, Kitty felt better, stronger, more able to deal with the fact that Lara had gone. And Wyatt had been...perfect. She couldn't have asked for a boyfriend to deal with his girlfriend crying over the loss of her girlfriend with any more tact or grace or compassion. And she adored him for it.

But there were some things about losing her like that that another X-Man would understand better. Plus, no one knew her better than Petey and Yana. She...didn't really know if she wanted to talk about Lara, or just spend time with Piotr while she still could. Either way, she called him and asked him to come hang out with her in her room.

They could decide from there and just do whatever came naturally. Like they always did.

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[st_eelyourself]

Katye's call had taken Piotr by surprise but he was happy to oblige. It would be nice for it to be just the two them, as most of their time together was spent at the bar, chatting about mostly pointless things while she worked and he tried to numb the empty pit that lived inside of him.

But it hadn't escape his notice that there was something off in Kitty's voice. Out of habit, he grabbed up his sketchbook, tucked a pencil behind his ear and set off to her building. On his way, he picked up some chocolates from the gift shop then knocked lightly on her door.

[st_alksthroughwalls]

"It's open," Kitty called from where she lay facedown on the bed. One of the first things she'd done when she arrived was figure out how to easily rewire her door so that it didn't lock. Of course, it never stayed that way, but when she was expecting company, it was easy enough to do it again.

After she called out to him, she tried to prop her chin on her hands and stick her feet up in the air like a teenaged cheerleader, but she couldn't seem to peel herself off the bed. Depressed, her therapist would say. No. You think?

[st_eelyourself]

Piotr (metaphorically) steeled himself before entering the room. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew it wasn't going to be good. Slowly slipping into the room, he sat down gently on the edge of her bed attempting not to jostle her too much.

He turned to press his back against the headboard, one leg bending in front of him for support while he other draped over the side. The chocolates found a home on the bed directly next to her head so they would be in front of her face when she turned over.

"Would you like talk now or make fort out of pillows, blanket and towels then talk?"

[st_alksthroughwalls]

It was so unexpected and so perfectly Piotr that Kitty actually giggled. It gave her just enough energy to prop herself up on her elbows, take note of the chocolates, and then lean (flop) over half into his lap and give him a big hug.

"Talk, I think. Blanket forts take energy. I just want to lie here." Which would be proof for anyone who'd known her longer than a week that Kitty Pryde was Not Right.

[st_eelyourself]

If Piotr hadn't understood before, he was getting close. It was not dissimilar to the lowest lows in the Kitty and Parker's rollercoaster.

"Whatever you need, Katye." Not wanting to rush her, he simply let the words hang in the air. As gently as possible, he began to run his fingers through her hair.

[st_alksthroughwalls]

Kitty sighed as she drummed up the energy and the courage to say, "Lara's gone," without breaking into sobs. Wyatt had been everything she needed him to be yesterday, but today, she felt the absence keenly again.

"She disappeared a couple of days ago. I don't know exactly when."

[st_eelyourself]

Piotr's hand faltered, just for a moment, while he wrapped his mind around her words. His heart simply broke for her. "дерьмо Katye, I am very sorry."

Everyone at the inn knew loss, but this was different. They were supposed to be safe. "I did not know that that could happen here."

[st_alksthroughwalls]

The familiarity of it, the Russianness of it, settled her in a way more effusive sympathy wouldn't have. He meant every word with all of himself, but he didn't try to make her feelings his. It was at moments like this, he reminded her most of Illyana.

"Every so often people go missing. Sam and his brother investigated the first time and couldn't find any evidence of anything happening to them. They just disappear." Even for the steadiness of having him beside her, Kitty felt as she said it, like she might vomit.

[st_eelyourself]

An unhappy rumble rolled from his chest. That was not a thought that sat well with him. His hand shifted from Kitty's hair and rested his hand on her arm near the shoulder. It felt good to have some solid physical contact and do something to try to keep her from vanishing too.

"Do you trust their investigation?"

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Kitty turned her head to look over at him. It hit her then that she'd been unfair in slipping back into the flow of their relationship without making sure he'd adjusted well to the hotel. Selfish.

"Yeah," she said, moving to sit and wrap her arms around his middle. "Sam's a good guy. He and his brother were two of the first people here. The other two were Stephanie and Snow White." Her eyes were red from crying when she tipped her chin up to look at him. "How are you doing, Petey?"

[st_eelyourself]

He smiled warmly at her as she snuggled closer. "Being good guy is good. But does he understand disappearances?" It wasn't like Piotr would be able to do any better, but he needed to know. His trust wasn't easily won when the safety of his friends was involved.

"I do not know if there are words for how I am, Katye." Leaning down, he gave her a kiss on the forehead. Of course she was worried about him, even when she was clearly hurting. "I am better. There are times I am fine but others where just continuing to breathe is challenge."

[st_alksthroughwalls]

"As much as anyone," Kitty murmured not wanting to discuss it if Petey needed her. Instead, she shifted and fit herself neatly into his lap.

"If there are not words, then you could draw pictures," she offered sweetly, but her fingers rubbed against the top of his hand. Hard to remember that she'd been mad at her Piotr for not loving her the way she loved him. This already felt like the way things had always been. "Or you could try a little bit at a time. I'd rather help you if I can, since me having a broken heart is hardly news in any world."

[st_eelyourself]

He smiled warmly as she re-situated herself again but it faltered at her suggestion. The thought of putting all of...this was daunting.

"Those would not be good drawings." He shook his head. "I have tried to sketch out some of what I have seen, to get the images out of my head and on to paper...but it only makes them worse."

[st_alksthroughwalls]

Kitty understood that. Some people found studying the Holocaust, visiting the camps, the graves, knowing the names, helpful. Kitty never had. And the images from the liberation of the camps could make her puke if she happened on them unexpectedly.

"Maybe a little at a time, then. Or tell me what you feel? I know it sucks and I'm not even sure it helps, but it's better than being alone with all the crap in your head."

[st_eelyourself]

"How could I feel alone with you in my lap, Katye?" Sometimes she really did live up to her name. "But if you think it would be good for me to talk, then I will try."

Silence fell over him then, he'd made the decision to speak about what was on his mind but it turned out that there was so much to say that he didn't know where to start. So he stayed silent.

[st_alksthroughwalls]

Science was a slow process. Progression by microns for years and then a sudden breakthrough of a yard before you were back to a increments a racing snail could do in a infinitesimal fraction of a second. So she didn't assume that because Petey said he'd talk, he'd meant he'd do it right now, or even that if he'd intended right now that right now would be measured in the usual length of a conversational pause. People weren't science, but trauma had a similar logic, she'd learned from her own therapy sessions.

So Kitty didn't fill the silence with words, or any overt action. She remained still in his arms and committed herself to being here as long as it took. And if it wasn't today, then she'd come back again and again as long as she needed to. He was one of her oldest friends and she'd been in love with him so long that even if they'd never be together, he was hers in every way that mattered.